Hotdogs

Many of you who know about my love of hotdogs, especially a charbroiled Sahlen’s, will be surprised to find out that I have had enough hotdogs. I feel like Dominica may be doling out some cosmic revenge for all the times I called people bourgie* for not having hotdogs at their barbeques (probably behind your back), challenged people to hotdog eating contests I knew they couldn’t win, and whined about my hotdogs not be properly burned. Because, right now, I’m suffering in a hotdog lover’s hell. Just like the Alanis Morsette song- It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. (You can respond in the comments whether it is still emo or just embarrassing to site songs from the mid-90’s that were by Alanis Morsette).

What I’m getting at is that I am having hotdogs all the time and they are all awful. I have been served hotdogs in all kinds of ways that I didn’t even know you could eat them. I’ve had hotdogs cut up and floating in my ramen noodles, hot dogs sliced thin and put on a sandwich in place of lunch meat, hotdogs cut up in Macaroni and Cheese and hot dogs on a roll with ketchup and onions. The problem is not the presentation though: it’s that they are never cooked.

This is definitely all my fault. There existed that brief moment in time when I was handed my first uncooked hotdog meal that I simply needed to say, “Hey host mom- I don’t really like uncooked hotdogs.” It would have been easy as pie. But that moment passed and I did not even realize it. And after that moment it was too late- there’s no turning back.

I’m waging a silent war against the hotdogs but I’m definitely losing. I’ve been trying to wait until no one is watching to run outside and put my hotdog pieces in the compost pile (kind of hiding them under orange peels) but I had a moment of panic when my host mom told my host sister to go turn the compost pile. Hotdogs probably never decompose. I’m sure the casing alone can hold up against at least 2 major tropical storms. They are going to find out my hot doggy secret.

In more hotdog news there is a hysterical song that is very popular right now called “Sharon want a hot dog in her mouth”. For real. All the kids are singing it- it was played constantly during Carnival. Check it out here: http://www.numusiczone.com/songview.php?songID=300189&artist=Wuk_Suk#

And here is the press release from the local newspaper about Mystro Wuk Luk who performs it:

‘Mystro Wok Sok’ confident that the ‘hot dog song’ will earn him the 2011 Road March Title

Written by Alice Dalrymple

Tuesday, 08 February 2011 16:56

Allsworth Cuffy, better known as ‘Mystro Wok Sok’ is confident that his 2011 calypso hit ‘Sharon want a hot dog in her mouth’, will earn him the road march title. Wok Sok, who is also the composer of ‘the hulahoop’ and ‘rice pelau’, which was penned over a decade ago, says he is pleased that his contribution to this year’s calypso season, is being appreciated by Dominicans all over the world. He has since labeled the song as ‘the people’s song’. The calypsonian says while the song may appear to be more humorous than serious, much thought was put into its lyrical content and tempo. According to him, the song is ideal not just for the carnival season as it relates to the everyday way-of-life. Cuffy’s CD which comprises of seven songs, including his 2011 calypso hit are now available for sale at the price of $10.00. CDs can be purchased from Mas Camp officials or from the calypsonian himself, who can be contacted at telephone number 245 9356.

Please note that I now live in a society where personal cell phone numbers are published in newspapers.

*A derivative of the word bourgeois used here to describe people in San Francisco who prefer to both know and discuss the origins of their meat. Also, anyone who doesn’t like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.