Week 77

It’s been a while. At some point all of the bizarre things that happen on a daily basis don’t seem that bizarre anymore which makes it much harder to write a blog. Also Chee Chee is back in jail.

What is constantly interesting to me is how Dominicans view Peace Corps volunteers. Many Dominicans seem to like us. Some don’t- one lady told me I was going to be hung. Most are just confused.

Two weeks ago a man who was raised in England but is Dominican by heritage and now lives here sat next to me at a reading competition. “Erin, I was watching something about the CIA last night on the telly,” he whispered to me in his thick British accent, “and I was thinking, how many of you Peace Corps are CIA?”

I looked up from my book and paused. What a difficult decision. For men who are hitting on me or smoking drugs in front of me I always respond that I do in fact work for the “government” sometimes elaborating to say, “I cannot tell you anymore about it.” For people who ask politely I try to explain that the Peace Corps does not report to the CIA. Now this gentleman frustrates me in general and he had interrupted my reading which I wasn’t thrilled about BUT he also has his own show on the new tv station in Dominica, Collywood. Weighing my options I went with the only reasonable decision; I gave him a little smile, winked and said “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

To be honest though sometimes I’m a little flattered they think I’m in the CIA. It’s a step up from all the people who believe that I am here to act as a personal assistant to the general public. Last week a stay-at-home mom asked me if we were having summer school. I informed her that we were but her daughter, who is 3 years old, is too young to attend. In return she asked me if I could help her out by babysitting a couple days a week then as I didn’t arrange a summer program for toddlers.

Some of the other more interesting requests I’ve received are: to edit the Dominica Green Party manifesto, revise a thesis on the state of credit unions, ask my mom to ship three 64 oz. containers of peanut butter down, put together 150 wedding invitations to a wedding I was not invited and then design a card to be enclosed that reminded guests to only give money, create a website for a gentleman without a computer to start a business of illegally shipping liquor to the US, be a godparent, teach a catechism class and be a Heineken girl (which entails wearing a skimpy green outfit and sparkles and trying to get men to buy Heineken).

If anyone can correctly guess which two of these activities I assisted with I’ll send you a delicious Dominican treat in the mail.

Dominican phrase book:

How to order booze:

-a step-up is a shot of rum topped off with ginger wine, a sweet beverage that is 13% alcohol

-local rum is rum you can breathe fire with

-spice, pueve, noni are all local rums that have been soaked in various herbs for anywhere from 1 day to 1 month

-these are typically chased with a small glass of water

-wine will be sweet wine- manischewitz is a crowd favorite

-the kind of wine that you want is unsweetened wine

-both wines will be served with ice

-if you are a lady your beer will include a straw, don’t use it at your own risk, also beers are approx. 9 oz.

more to come next time!

Week Unwanted teaches small white children how to dance

** Can anyone help me to make the font all one size in my blog? This is not done on purpose.**

I think the best way to continue forward from the neglect you are all feeling is to wrap up some of the important old stories so we can close the depressing chapter when Erin never visits the Bills Bar in Dahmineekah (I actually visited it every day and the proprietor has worked a Buffalo t-shirt into her weekly rotation) and move forward.

1) 1. Chee Chee- I know you are all thinking, “did Chee Chee ever get stabbed in the middle of the street for spending the entire week yelling crazy things on Erin’s neighbors porch?” Yes. The Sunday after my last blog entry my man friend yelled at me at around 8 pm to come outside and he pointed to Chee Chee lying in the middle of the road bleeding. The police arrived shortly after and looked at him for a while and then put him in the back of the van (pick-up truck) and hauled him off. Chee Chee had been stabbed by the 15-year-old son of one of the wealthiest men in Salisbury.

The week passed and I heard only a small amount of gossip about Chee Chee’s stabbing but heard he made a full recovery. On Friday Chee Chee made a big party. On Saturday Chee Chee made a big party. On Sunday Chee Chee made a big party. On Sunday night I heard Chee Chee yelling about how he spent all his money on big parties. Apparently getting stabbed by wealthy children without criminal records is quite lucrative. Word in the village is that it is worth between $3,000 and $5,000.

2) 2. The gay cruise ship- On March 21, 2012 a Celebrity Cruise Ship with exclusively gay male passengers docked in Dominica. Dominica is not known for its tolerance. The ship came into port and around noon it was all over the news that two passengers had been arrested for “buggery.” Buggery is illegal in Dominica. The information that was released explained that two men on the ship had been seen naked on their balcony which was overlooking the Bayfront (a main street in the capital where all the bus drivers wait to pick up tourists). The men were held overnight (from their reports they were held in terrible conditions) and then charged with public indecency, fined and sent back to the States.

The entire country was up in arms about the situation: people were angry that they were not charged for buggery, people were angry that they were arrested, people were angry that they were not respecting God, people were angry about how it would look to the international press and the Peace Corps (generally speaking, especially the new ones) were a little concerned about the terrible homophobic comments that were being made.

A public statement was never made to release all the relevant information and so Dominicans and interested parties argued, discussed and prayed about it for a week.

Then this picture was released http://www.queerty.com/update-incriminating-photo-of-couple-arrested-on-gay-cruise-surfaces-20120330/

Luckily the community has stopped talking about it.

3) 3. What we are talking about is Unwanted teaching little white kids to dance. Unwanted is a Salisburian Calypsonian who wrote huge hits like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6osW_iJleJ0 and this year’s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHBC58F_KBk which features my man friend’s father’s bar.

When Ben met Unwanted (who Ben proceeded to exclusively call “Wanted” inspiring a name change in the village) he received a private show of the artist previously called Unwanted’s signature dance moves (featured in the first video) which highlight the “turn around and pretend to be feeling yourself up” as well as the “shake your arms in front of you a lot”.

On Sunday we held an Easter Sunday Funday by the bay as a fundraiser for the organization I work with. An adorable white family showed up, parents and two boys, about 2 and 5 I think. Who was walking around holding the boys hands? Unwanted. It is 100% unclear how or why they knew each other. First Unwanted comes up to the food tent I’m working at with the boys, I can only assume to purchase food, and instead asks for cigarettes. The next thing I know he has enrolled them in the children’s dance competition and is standing to the side leading their dance routine.

Notice Unwanted in the orange striped shirt.

Check out all of the photos here (also you can see the crowd forming): http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.375905569115636.87912.291014340938093&type=1

4) My friend Kayle Formato was here this past week. It was incredible. More info to come.

Dominican slang book:

Want to ask if food tastes good? Want to know how the beach is? Want to find out if the mangoes are ripe?

“Is it nice?” takes care of all of those.

Erin: “Did you enjoy your sea bath?” (refer back to swimming entry sea bath = swimming in the sea)

Anyone: Blank stare.

Erin: “Was your sea bath nice?”

Anyone: “Oh yes!”

Week 56 (delayed)

I've got an old post here that I never published (because I keep failing at uploading videos- someone help me please!). Look for an all new post later this week!

Yesterday (February 17th) was the Little Miss Grade 2 pageant at the Salisbury Primary School. As organizing beauty pageants are now a line item on my resume I was recruited to assist. I was envisioning something out of Tiaras & Toddlers.

Instead it was awesome.

The contestants were six 7-year-old girls; an ESL student, a rasta girl and a big-boned British-Dominican girl included. My highlight was Princess Sajah’s (her legal name) talent, she recited a poem about toiling in the Dominican soil, and the British girl singing “I am beautiful”.

The girl in red was expected to be the ringer (odds were 6 to 1 mangoes in her favor) as her mom owns a beauty shop AND she likes fashion but the British girl came from behind and claimed the title of "Little Miss Salisbury Primary School Grade 2".

Update: She's performing her duties wonderfully.

I've noticed you're all getting a bit rusty with your Dominican. Here's two good hints:

1. Replace "looking for" with "watching for".
Usage:
"I was watching for Erin's post about the gay men from California who were arrested in Dominica for buggery last week but she is never writing posts."

2. Use "next" for "another".
Usage:
"I'm not seeing it either. Miss Aireen must have got a next hobby. Probably learning to make delicious rum punch and explaining to people in Salisbury why she never told them San Francisco is the capital of sodomy before and they had to hear it on the radio 15 times a day for the past week."

Week Chee Chee

I badly needed to post anyhow but this post was inspired by my favorite on-again off-again neighbor- Chee Chee. Chee Chee wrote a hit calypso last year but was thrown back in jail before he could compete in the finals. His song was about a sookooyah (witch) peepeeing in his yard.

Chee Chee's most famous robbery was one he got away with. He walked into an electronics store in Roseau (the capital), picked up a boombox (circa 1999), turned it on and walked out of the store with the boombox on his shoulder.

Chee Chee was out of prison for Carnival this year and wrote another hit.
Chee Chee performing his new song on the street in Salisbury with a Sensai during Carnival warm-up. I have never again seen him in a shirt with buttons.

After getting into a fight in Salisbury he moved to town for awhile. He moved back this week. He appears to be staying with his aunt directly across the street from me, who has the fanciest house in the area and does not interact with us colonists, and spends the evenings (from about 9 pm to 1 am) screaming jibberish. There's no way to write emails when something this great is happening.

Chee Chee: YOU ALL HATING ME! BUT DIS MY GRANDMOTHERS DAUGHTERS HOUSE! YOU GRUDGING ME! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DON"T COME THERE AN CHARGE MY FAMILY! YOU COME RIGHT DERE WITH A CUTLASS! SHES MY MOTHERS MOTHERS DAUGHTER! DOE BE GRUDGING! YOU ALL GRUDGING! RIGHT DEEEEEREEEEEEee!

(Chee Chee picks up a broom with no bristles and begins swinging it martial arts style) You're boss man a rapist! Dat Gangsta Robbery say!

You're modass! (modass is Dominican for Mother's A$$)

You're modass boy! You're family you know! BOY! I warning you! Blood! I warning you!

I must put the love away! I must be hard! I must be brave! I must keep on singing! I forgive you boy!

RAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! RAAAAAAAAAA! RAAAAAAAAAA! (at this point his aunt came outside and started yelling at him for volaying (stealing) her broom)

Next time,

Week 58- Guest Bloggers

I'll be back in a couple days but for now I'm going to give you a taste of Dominica from my latest house guests/parents/guest bloggers.

Guest bloggers, Marilyn and John, checking our scene at the Melville Hall airport, leaving Dominica. We've been here for 2 weeks, sharing Erin's Peace Corps life and doing our best to free ourselves up on this beautiful island. We have many unforgettable moments to share with you all, so fix your favorite cocktail, relax yourselves and read on:

• Erin’s Boiling Lake Tour – a snack of rough cake and coconut water at Breakfast River (after 1 hour on the trail), a dip in a hot sulphur pool near the Valley of Desolation (2 hours) and a picnic overlooking Boiling Lake (3 hours and ½ way through), a swim in the icy waters of Titu Gorge (6 hours and the end of our hike) and then a long steamy soak at Screw’s Hot Sulphur Baths –with cold beer- as our reward for the adventure.
• Watching rain clouds blow over the mountains – they bring quick hard rain and then big bright rainbows that start in the mountains and end in the sea.

• John learning to drive like a Dominican – left side of the road, right side of the car, strategic horn blasts, no speed limits, stop signs or traffic lights
• Meeting Erin’s friends wherever we went on the island, and especially her Salisbury pals – rum & cokes & jokes with Velma and Norris, stopping at Ma Clem’s Buffalo Bills Bar everyday and sharing Erin’s homemade peanut punch with her our last day in Salisbury
• Staying overnight at Jungle Bay in our cottage on stilts in the forest – and Marilyn’s personal favorite – the outdoor shower overlooking the jungle and ocean. Sam, the Jungle Bay owner and Nancy, yoga instructor, took us on a brisk steep hike up Morne Paix Bouch, then a swim in the ocean side pool, a great shower and rum punch with dinner
• Snorkeling in the Caribbean at Scott’s Head Bay and Champagne Beach with indescribable fish and coral, underwater cliffs and geysers and iguanas playing in the woods
• Cooking with Erin and Jem was a Dominican food adventure – watching & sometimes helping with palau, christophene, fried plantains, fig pie, bakes with cheese, stewed chicken, dolphin fish (not flipper, mahi-mahi)
• Getting to know Jem and his family – mother (Marilyn!), father (Local) and nephew (MJ). Erin made a proper Dominican dinner for Jem’s family and then we had a wonderful Dominican dinner at their home
• Plenty of fun and hugs from the kids at Salisbury Primary School where Erin works- John was a guest reader and we both did some hands on science with them
• Dancing at Reggae Night in Portsmouth at Big Papas on a beautiful night (John did dance no matter what he says)

• Food- soft chocolate cake at the Riverside Café, Sharon’s fruit cake, ice pops, bbq chicken, roasted plantains
• Fluids- lime rum punch, peanut rum punch, coconut rum punch, sorrel juice with rum, fresh squeezed grapefruit juice with rum, rosemary infused rum & cokes (Norris’ specialty), Kabuli beer
• Our Last Day in Dominica Lunch right on the ocean, behind the market. a great Dominican plate of local foods and guava juice. Getting pretty sad about leaving…
• Plenty more – you get the picture
• And last, but certainly the very best, spending 2 weeks with Erin. It’s a dilemma – trying to say how rich and wonderful it was to wake up together every morning and hug goodnight, talk as much as we want, laugh, be proud - and not sound sappy. Guess it can’t be done.

Thank you for every moment in Paradise Erin

And if you don’t like that, we have the words to the Calypso hit, to be performed by unwanted,

Doe Wanna be a Dog in Dominica

Doe wanna be a dog in Dominica

sleeping with one eye open in the street

can never get enough to eat

anything that’s moving is a treat

every dog’s a fighting dog in Dominica

fighting for its life

Doe wanna be a dog in Dominica

Week It's so overdue and I've been here well over a year!

Dear everyone,

I’m very sorry about my lapse in blog posting. I’ve already failed all my New Year’s resolutions. No weekly blog posts, I can’t plait hair and I haven’t yet learned to take down a tree with one swing of my cutlass.

Trust me though- I’ve missed writing as much as anyone has missed reading (except my mom). Unfortunately I ruined the second computer I had in Dominica (which was so generously sponsored by Ben) so I have been waiting to borrow a computer. I think the worst part of this all is that there was only one post by guest blogger Ben-jammin’.

I’m going to back it up and start by telling you about the rest of Ben’s trip. It was awesome.

In a testament to both the friendliness of Dominicans and Ben I still get asked where Ben is by people I have never seen before when I walk down the road. At least one child-a-day asks me where Ben-ten is (because I’m called Miss Air-een a lot of the students call him Mr. Air-een which I love and don’t correct). My favorite is Po-po (Ben met when Po-po saw him having a drink at a rum shop and invited Ben to a pre-funeral party) who yells at me all this time about how much he misses Ben.

Ben made a splash (hilarious pun) on an international level too. Ben, another PCV Menke, my man friend and I decided to go sailing to a secret beach that you can only reach by boat. We arrived at the Hobie Cat rental place to find it completely closed. Menke called the guy who works there and he came to rent us a boat. He asked whether any of us knew how to sail to which we sheepishly looked at the ground and responded that Menke had been on a Hobie Cat here recently. Good enough.

He asked whether we wanted lifejackets or not. I can’t tell you whether or not we took them at risk of incriminating myself. We were off. Both the wind and the current were with us, Ben was casually lying back steering the boat as we all lay down in the sun congratulating ourselves.

We left the beach a while later to sail back to the rental place. Unfortunately our non-existent sailing skills prevented us from moving in the direction we wanted to go. We sat on the boat debating when to freak out while slowly drifting towards a large patch of sharp rocks. Ben jumped in the water and tried to push us back by kicking.

Finally we decided to flag down a large sail boat to get some “tips” on making it back. They only spoke French and decided to rescue us. My very brave man friend offered to stay on our boat and we all climbed into the other boat. Everything seemed to be going well until the French man jumped into the water with a snorkel and mask and asked his wife to pass him an enormous knife. She then handed Menke and I a camera and a video camera for “souvenirs”. We eventually solved the mysteries: the rope they tied to our boat got caught in their engine and she wanted us to take pictures of them saving us. Now we were all stuck out at sea.

A rasta man arrived in a small motor boat to offer them assistance. The rasta man and the French couple were communicating, if possible, even less clearly than we were.

Then our boat rental guy arrived in another motor boat and told us to get in his boat, untied us from the sailboat and sped off. We left the French people abandoned in the Caribbean as we sat in silent embarrassment on the way back to the shore. By the time we finished our de-stressing beer the Frenchies were on their way again. No harm no foul.

Our rescuers

I hiked to Boiling Lake in sandals. An unplanned huge

achievement. Only Europeans and Dominicans do that.

When I was back in the States I loved hearing people refer to Dominicans I’ve written about as “characters”. I wanted to start sharing photos of some of these “characters”. Here are Velma and Norris in an American Gothic set in Dominica photo. Norris is the gentleman who lived in Toronto who makes a mean rum and coke, tells great jokes and loves country music. If you want to continue imagining the characters as you’ve pictured feel free to close your eyes!

Norris and Velma in front of their beautiful porch.

I’ll tell you all about the Grade 2 Princess Pageant tomorrow!

Guest Blogger Week

Goodnight! A special welcome to Ben, the guest blogger for this week (additionally, my brother). Ben found his people here. So much so that he spends all day trying to look and speak just like a Dominican. The results are inconclusive. Here's Ben:

Howdy guanobloods! (thats how we say gringo in Dominica! (not really! We either say whitey or are too polite to point out ethnoculture differences!) Its guest blog.j. BenJamin spinnning your yarns coming live at ya from Delice. Id like to say a big O.K. To all folks in salisbury country and all up the west coast EXCEPT Paul. You know why, Paul.

We here at jungle bay looking at the sea and some coconuts. And some lizards. Alright alright. Early on today Israel Moses take us up to victoria falls and Bondye (pronounced BO! DE-YAY!) what a sight! Ate some soup took a walk. Its nice.

Anyhow on a more reflective note, when George Gervin and Abraham lincoln first set eyes on this fair isle they were right to dub it "Thine fairest paridise thyne world to see. Oh mine eyes the waterfalls and the people and whatnot so nice...(sic)! I think my minds totally blown and I can never go back to both of our wives who are coincidently both named Mary Todd Lincoln at Fort Sumpter."

They were mostly right! But I suspect may have gotten too far into a bottle of snake rum (a real thing! Here at least.)

If there were ever a place to inspire this many exclamation points and this much pride, its Dominica. The natural beauty is unparalleled and the citizens take selfless joy in sharing it.

Oh, one more note. If you like food at all, especially fresh food, this is probably the best place to be. Try the fruits or meats. Or sweets. Or juices. You really cant go wrong.

O.k.Soup


Jelly
Tiger
Moses

Snake Rum